let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
