He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize