I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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