What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need water and some morals
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
