Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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