ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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