I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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