i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
