Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
