I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
