okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
