it's like iHOP with fire
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
