Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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