hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
