none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
