I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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