and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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