It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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