This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
