Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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