my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
