this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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