Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
