i think i have herpe
just one?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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