So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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