he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
These tits shall not be calmed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
