I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
