Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
