why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize