There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
