He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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