wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize