let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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