How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
