If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
