what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can I color on your dick again?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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