I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
