i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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