But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This house was built for laser tag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
