If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
