just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize