there's paper in my vomit.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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