He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
