It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
