I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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