I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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