Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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