Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
