thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize