Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
