I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
