come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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