OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
