i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
