Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
