We won't sleep together?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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