Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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