I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
