I want to have your abortion
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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