scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
