I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
