I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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