Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
